Bom Chikka Wow Wow ….whomp whomp whomp

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Let’s talk about sex, after bay-bay.

Willow is almost 9 months old. And this past 9 months have been amazing! What hasn’t been amazing, is the postpartum sex, actually both the lack of it, and sadly the act of it (in the rare times it has taken place). I’m pretty confident that sex has happened 3 times…. THREE. And I’m not talking about three times in a week or a month. I’m talking three times in 9 months. That is it. Three.

Sex, is honestly the F A R T H E S T thing from my mind. My heart was in it……. my vagina was involved…… but, that folks, was it. On a scale of zero to I want to get it on, my libido is at a negative million. I’m pretty confident that i won’t WANT to have sex again, ever.

It isn’t that my hubby isn’t sexy….. because, he is! He’s got the best tush and biceps in town! And don’t even get me started on the accent! I’m just not feeling it. I’m a big time introvert. An INFJ (can we say rare gem?) to be exact. So, for me, touch is extremely draining. Touch, noise, people, life, all drain my energy. I become over stimulated, very easy. With a wee baby in the house who needs constant touch, nursing, and everything else …. being touched by my hubby is the last thing in the world I can tolerate, let alone sex.

I feel horrible about the lack of affection I have been giving my hubby. He is as patient as I could expect him to be. But, I know, that his patience is waning…….. B I G time! I’m confident that once the baby is done with breastfeeding, and my hormones have stabilized, that my libido will come back …. hopefully. Just in time to hopefully get pregnant again….. so basically I won’t be putting out for the next couple years …. yikes! Sorry babe!

So I sit here, a horrible housewife, a decent mom, an affectionately challenged wife, but a decent cook kinda girl….. who has a hubby she probably doesn’t deserve…..

I say…… Cheers to the flawed. Cheers to the raw. Cheers to all the mama’s who know that perfection is a myth and being a sub-par wife, mama, friend, human, is probably more realistic. 🍻🥂

Just Another Bad Apple 🍎

If your family is anything like my family, you have a lot of food that tends to get thrown away. It never seems to fail that I buy something and suddenly, it disappears because everyone decides that said item is the hot food item in the house. In an effort to counter this, I buy a surplus of the heavily consumed item….. and, as if Murphy lives in my house, everyone stops eating that item. ::::sigh::::

Some items head straight for the trash… ummm, nobody likes sour milk. Other items become new food! Bananas become banana bread, grapes become wine (I wish!) and those mushy apples, well, they become…… APPLESAUCE! Much like the bad apples used to make apple cider, those same “bad” apples work perfectly for applesauce.

And babies love applesauce!

6 large apples peeled and cored
3/4 cup granulated sugar (really, you can do this without any added sugar)
Pinch of salt
Tbsp cinnamon
Splash of apple cider vinegar
3-4 cups water

Peel and core apples. Place apples in pan and bring to a steady boil. Reduce heat and allow the apple to simmer until very soft.

Remove apples with a pasta strainer and place in food processor (I use my magic bullet). Add sugar, salt, cinnamon, and vinegar. Blend until desired consistency is achieved.img_6604

Let’s Get Gnudi

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I love pasta, and generally I serve some version of pasta at least twice a week for dinner. Sometimes I make my own pasta, sometimes it is is just the store bought version. Homemade pasta can make me weak in the knees…… but something I’ve never made before is, gnudi!

Gnudi is the ricotta version of gnocchi. So basically they are dumplings…. cheese dumplings to be exact…. what could be better? NOTHING!

I took a recipe for the gnudi from my Mozza cookbook and tweaked it a bit. The process is surprisingly simple…. 30 mins prep time and viola! A wonderfully hearty gourmet dinner that will make you look like a rockstar in the kitchen!

For the Gnudi:
16 oz container of ricotta cheese
1 large egg slightly beaten
1 tbsp melted salted butter
1 tbsp olive oil
1 tsp nutmeg
1/2 cup Grated Romano cheese
1 cup high protein flour (I use pastry flour)

1. Combine ricotta, egg, butter, oil, nutmeg and Romano cheese together in a mixing bowl.
2. Slowly add in the flour, folding into the batter with a rubber spatula.
3. Once the flour has been absorbed, flour your hands and begin to form the dough into a large ball and dust with flour until the dough is no longer sticky to the touch.
4. Break off pieces of dough and roll into balls a little smaller than the size of ping pong balls.
5. Place balls on a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper. Once you have rolled all of the dough, place the rolled balls into the refrigerator to chill while you prepare the sauce.

While you start the sauce, boil a large pot of water with 1 cup of olive oil and 4 tbsp of salt for the gnudi.

The sauce:

1/2 pound of maitake and Enokitake mushrooms
4 cups packed baby spinach
1/2 pound of cherry tomatoes
1 1/2 cups Chardonnay
10 garlic bulbs thinly slices long
1/2 cup butter
4 tbsp olive oil
Fresh thyme
Salt and cracked black pepper to taste

1. Heat olive oil in large skillet until oil is nearly smoking. Place mushrooms into the oil and sauté until golden brown.
2. Add garlic and stir constantly to avoid browning the garlic.
3. Add butter and continue stirring until butter is melted (about 3 mins)
4. Turn heat to low and add fresh thyme, cherry tomatoes, and Chardonnay.
5. Once tomatoes are ready to burst, add spinach a handful at a time and allow to wilt.
6. Turn heat to low and allow to simmer

While the sauce simmers, add balls of gnudi to the boiling water. Allow the gnudi to cook until they float to the surface. Remove gnudi from the water and place in the sauce. Coat the gnudi with the sauce and move them to the side of the skillet. If you need more wine, now is the time to add it to the sauce. Don’t use the gnudi water for the sauce as it will be too salty.Take veggies and sauce and place on a plate to act as a bed for the gnudi. Then, place the gnudi atop the sauce and veggies. Use a micro grater to grate Romano cheese and top with freshly grated black pepper. Bon appetite!